Things My Boss Said To Me

It's Friday and time for another installment of Things My Boss Said To Me.

This time it was a female boss and this was fairly early on in my career at a mutual fund company. My boss and I had the same first name. She went by Debra and at the time everyone called me Debbie. I was Debbie Conn. Nice ring. Two syllables followed by one.

But this boss pulled me aside and said Debbie didn't sound professional. I should use my given name Debra. Never mind that now there would be two Debra's in the department and that could be confusing. Not wanting to cross the boss, I went along with it and from thence forth I was known as Debra.

Now I understand Debbie sounds like a nickname, and I endured plenty of Debbie Does.... snickers (ala the porn film) and plus its dated (50's sounding), but its kinda weird changing your name in your 20's. Looking back though, should I have let this person influence the use of my name? There are plenty of successful women named Debbie. Did anyone ever really treat me differently as a Debra? Would it have ever kept me from a promotion? Doubtful.

But because of that one boss, my professional name changed.

My family still calls me debbie.

Wall Street Mother's Day

Of course you are behind if you are a Wall Street Broad. Cause you're too darn busy to write a blog post on Mother's Day. So, here's my mom's day contribution.

There's this lawsuit again the Bloomberg organization filed by women saying they couldn't get ahead at the company. That having kids was certainly a deterrent to climbing the corporate ladder. Mayor Mike Bloomberg says he has no idea what these women are talking about. When I read some of the things the women were complaining about - it sounded all too familiar.

Back when I was a bonus baby at Bear Stearns, we used to call it the pregnancy punishment. If you got pregnant, then your bonus that year would be flat. The argument was that you didn't work the entire year - you took 3 months off. While it was never said - it was understood. All you had to do was ask a couple of other female executives and everyone had the same experience. Now you couldn't complain about this. If you did, your career as over. And maybe today that doesn't happen anymore. It didn't keep you from moving up, but you were definitely hit in the pocketbook.

Of course, it was a small price to pay for my wonderful boy!

The Shoe Switch

New York City sidewalks are punishing on shoes and feet. I can no longer walk around the city in heels at all. Not even low heels. It just hurts too much and it doesn't matter whether its a foot friendly show maker or not. I just can't do it.

So, I've become the master of the shoe switch. That is walking in flats (or flip flops in the summer) and then quickly switching to heels when I get to my destination. Yes, that was me balancing on one heel outside of Four Seasons as I slipped on the other. This can be pretty tricky. Under no circumstances do you want your foot to touch Manhattan pavement. So you have to slip off the flat, slip on the heel and not fall over while you are now wearing two different shoes.

Then you can move on to doing the other. This also requires some flexibility because you are bending all the way over to grab your other shoe from the bag which is sitting on the sidewalk - balancing on the heeled shoe. Yoga anyone?

Inevitability someone will stare at you as you do the switch. I have long given up that embarrassment. I just don't care. I don't like lugging shoes around in my bag, but this is the only way I can manage to stay in heels at an interview or event. I've seen these foldable slippers advertised and may pick up a pair. Sneakers don't works since they are way to huge to lug around. So for now, my trusty ballet flats will do.

If you want to conquer NY - master the shoe switch!

Mom Marketing

Katherine Wintsch is a Mom Marketer. She tells companies like Wal-Mart how to market to moms. Winstch says it isn't just about putting stuff on sale. It's knowing your mom and what she needs. We moms want to sit down to a balanced meal at night. But the reality is that most moms work and that means trying to cook vegtables quickly won't happen. It's hard to be creative.

Personally, I am not one of those moms that wants to spend all day on Sunday making meals for the entire week like some suggest. I am however, the master of the 20 minute meal!

Wintsch also tells companies that they need to focus on brands that women prefer and build on that. Women really get attached to certain brands. Men - not so much. (hmm...sounds like marriage?)


Here are another chick fact. 80% of the car buying decision is done by women, but cars are seen as inherently male. Car companies are finally coming around and designing cars to appeal to women and changing the ads to ones that women would like. Cute kid in Jedi costume? Wintsch pointed out the recent car ad where a woman gets noticed by hot guys in her cool mini van. Very calculated ad move.

It seems a no brainer, right? But companies cling to traditional roles. Most women work and more frequently women make more money than their husbands. I personally know several families in which the wives make more than the husbands. Its no big deal. But I think it happens more than most people realize. Its about time that companies come to terms with this.

Katherine Wintsch founded The Mom Complex and i'ts a think tank dedicated to marketing to moms. Tell 'em how it is Katherine!

I'll Take 50% Efficiency to Get 100% Loyalty

That quote is from Samuel Goldwyn. I bet he never carried a loyalty card. I have so many of these things that I bought an extra wallet just carry loyalty cards. 3 out of 4 Americans have at least one loyalty card, but only a 1/3 ever get a reward or promotion as a result of the card. Only 27% of Americans have received a reward that made them feel valued. In fact, 44% have had a negative experience with loyalty cards.

As example, my husband had a Staples card. we diligently presented it with purchases for a year. But never heard anything about it. When he looked into it, they said the card wasn't active - although at no time during any transaction did a clerk ever say there was a problem. They finally agreed that something went wrong, but then didn't want to credit the entire years worth of spending to the card. After lots of yelling - they finaly agree. The result was basically $113.00 worth of store coupons. This took even more phone calls and yelling to actually get the checks cut. It was an awful experience.

On the positive side, I just cashed in some points at Sephora for a nice gift. My theatre card just paid off in a free movie ticket. And my Cosi card should be paying me a free sandwich soon. The wine store pays me a free bottle after every 10, I like that one.

But the drug store cards are worthless. CVS will give me a coupon that is worth $1.00 off if I spend another
$20 - so stupid. I hardly ever spend $20 at CVS. The PetSmart card never seems to pay off. The grocery store card pays off at the holidays, but that's it.

Unfortunately, it seems lots of times I can't find the card of the place that I'm at. That happened to me th eothe rnight at Panera's. I found it after we finished eating, sitting in the movie theatre after earning a free ticker!

Things My Boss Said To Me

It must be Friday - because it's time for another chapter of Things My Boss Said To Me.

This is another often told tale of my days at Bear Stearns. I was 7 months pregnant and really struggling one day. I was having braxton-hicks contractions. It was painful and uncomfortable. My feet hurt. I just wanted to lay down. If I could lay down for a half hour, I knew I could work the rest of the day. I told my wonderful boss Bill Clemente and he said absolutely, go to the nurse. (this isn't the bad boss part yet)

So, I head down to the nurse where there is a bed. I walk in and then at the same moment, another man comes in. The nurse looks at us both and asks what we need. I say I need to lay down, pain, blah blah pregnant blah blah. I didn't have to say too much - I looked pretty pitiful. She turns to the "gentleman" and asks him what he needs. It was Ralph Cioffi. Yes - that Ralph Cioffi - of I burned down the financial markets when when my hedge fund was the first to get marked down 50%. The Ralph that went to trial (was not found guilty). He said I called because I have a migraine and need to lay down in the dark.

Awkward silence.

The nurse says haltingly - well the policy is you have to call first and he called first. I think she was expecting him to give me the ONE bed. But noooooo. He made a beeline for the bed. Left me in the dust. The nurse and I just kinda looked at each other. At that moment in my highly emotional pregnant state - I starting crying. It was just too degrading. I had actually worked for Ralph at one point. And he pulled SMD ranking on me. That's senior managing director. Rank was a big deal at Bear.

So, the nurse says you can sit here in my office. I cry "I have my own office I can sit in." So I head back up to my own office and proceed to sit and cry. It was just too much. I was exhausted and stressed and just desperately needed to lie down My boss bill comes and in wonders what happened. I tell him and he sends me home. Smart move because I was completely worthless.

The day I saw Ralph Cioffi do the "perp" walk for the trial over the hedge funds - was a wonderful day. It took years, but karma's a bitch.

Shoes Shoes Shoes

In New York, the sidewalks and stairs are punishing on a woman's feet. I am always amazed when I see a woman in the subway in heels. I can't imagine walking around the city that way. Not only do your shoes get torn up and quickly ground down by the cement - it just becomes down right painful.

So most wall street gals walk to work in comfortable shoes. Sneakers, flats, Uggs and in the summer - flip flops. Then they get to work and switch to the nice shoes. Obviously you aren't going to transport shoes back and forth, so the space beneath your desk becomes your shoe closet. Of course you don't have just black pumps under the desk - you've got everything. When I left Bear Stearns I carted out one entire box of just shoes. 9 pairs.

I asked my former colleagues how many and one girl copped to 18 pairs. I know another who wore a size 5 and he mother worked at Bloomingdale's in the buyers office. The shoe samples came in a size 5, so this gal had an entire plastic bin stored under her desk with what had to be 30 pairs of shoes.

As a reporter, I don't have a strict professional dress code, nor do I feel the competitive fashion pressures of professional women. But I have accumulated 5 pairs of shoes in my drawer and under my desk. And I am a frequent public shoe changer. If I need to be somewhere in nice shoes, I'll carry them with me and outside the building with no embaressment whatsoever - change my flat shoes for heels.

The guys think we're nuts for storing shoes under the desk and the cleaning ladies never steal them. So there you have it. The secrets of the wall street shoe storage.